Christmas Once Again

Happy Holidays to anyone who might be out there and happen across this Blog. I have not quite made it through the first 24 hours of Christmas with my family. So far so good as I have been lucky enough to be out of range of any sharp instruments or firearms. I'm not so sure about making it for the duration though as I've signed myself up for 2 weeks of this insanity. In the great big world a process called natural selection helps keep the gene pool relatively trim and fit but Mankind has risen to a level of intelligence allowing for the longevity of many who might otherwise be "reaped" to allow for new growth. Here I find myself surrounded by family at a time of year when we should be rejoicing in each others company harboring barely concealed contempt and ill-will towards those who I should love the most. A few stiff drinks certainly takes the edge off, however this is often frowned upon over the orange juice and Raisin Bran. And we haven't reached
critical mass yet so the best is yet to come.
Tomorrow morning, waking up to the sound of my mother yelling at the dog who is yapping at one or both of my sons who will be giggling out of control, we shall embark upon an excursion to visit my Wife's sister and all her family up in Temple Texas. I want you to know that this will be the most fun I will have my entire visit here in Texas Christmas 2007.

The scorecard so far reads something like this.
I Lose per everything that has happened so far.

I'll try and keep it light and funny as I'm quite certain I would be laughing at this were it not happening to me.
1. don't use anything in the kitchen because its too much trouble and makes too much of a mess and just don't do it.
2. The neighbors planted their trees 30 years ago with the singular purpose in mind that they would grow into giant behemoth leaf dropping trees and create a dirty mess that my mother has to take care of every day...every day....everyday. They evidently also trained them to drop their leaves only in my mothers yard.
3. That pool was the biggest mistake I ever made. No one ever uses it and here I am 83 years old having to clean the leaves out of it every day.

Now alternately repeat items 2 and 3 every 30 seconds followed by occasional outbursts of shouting at the dog who is busy scraping her itchy little chihuahua butt on the carpet and an adamant declarative disapproval of everything...everything and you have the queen bee herself.
Quote of the day: "You can't cook on the stove because it was never ment to actually be used."
She may not be too far off in this statement as she has a flat glass-top stove and it is possibly the worst thing I have ever tried to use ever for any purpose.
My head is screaming banging at me and I must lay down fro the night. But I shall try and keep up with anything fun that might happen over the next few days.
Adios and felice navidad!
p-didn

'Tis the season.

Well, I managed to be semi-productive today though not nearly as focused as I would have liked. And after a long day of pretending to be busy I have poisoned myself with fermented Juniper berries . I am pretty easily distracted as well as amused so channel surfing is my best sport.
It being the holiday season there are any number of holiday claymations to remind me of my mis-spent youth. I like to sit in front of the TV with a guitar in my hands and work through the melodies of anything that comes to mind. Mostly I zone out and pay no serious attention to either TV or guitar...however...tonight there is an especially bizarre program on that I have some vague memory of but feels like an acid flashback. This program is none other than "The Life and Adventures of Santa Clause" If you have seen or experienced this one you know exactly what I'm talking about because it is the weirdest thing I have ever seen in my life. And that is saying a lot! This baby is a Claymation festival produced by the same people that produced the standard fare in christmas claymation:Rankin-Bass. Its so freakin weird I don't know where to begin. Its Dark and Sci-fi and full of scary monsters that mug Clause and a counsil of immortals and something called the great Ak who has a rack of antlers like to make Falstaff laugh. And cute green-skinned elf girls and ...well... You just got to see this to believe it. Three-eyed monsters with red mohawks and furry gorilla-bats. I high-ly recommend you down a couple of huge martinis and pop this one in the dvd player if you can't find it on the cable. I promise this baby won't let you down!

peace-out
p-didn
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Life_and_Adventures_of_Santa_Claus
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089488/

PS
Ok so I did some more investigation into this and found out that this is based on the L Frank Baum book of the same name. Think Wizard of Oz. Ohhhhh
It's still damn freakish.

Saginaw Shakedown Update

Well, I got so busy I haven't been able to keep up with this trial,
But it is well covered by the Saginaw News so click here and find out
for yourself!
http://blog.mlive.com/saginawnews/2007/12/arson_trial_day_5_the_jury_is.html
p-didn

Two Scoops!

For a couple of months now I have been concertedly trying to eat healthy foods in appropriate amounts in an attempt to stave off total bodily self-destruction. One of the things I have done is start the day off with cereal...not the super sugar crap but the real stuff. I have convinced myself that Raisin Bran is an excellent way to start the day. I had been buying the local store's brand cause its cheaper and they produce or package basically the same thing. I found myself
thinking "hey, this stuff tastes so much better then the stuff they used to make" not realizing that they now make no less than 13 different types of raisin granola with almond clusters and organic raisins, which is why they can charge $5.00 a box.
Now I am a person who is easily overwhelmed by mundane choices at the grocery store. I can often be found at the toothpaste aisle shuffling back and forth muttering about Colgate's invisible shield and tartar control with or without whitener?! So when I made the decision to go with Raisin Bran It was with the great hope that my time spent in the breakfast food aisle would be shaved considerably less than that of the aforementioned personal hygiene products.
Now its not that I'm afraid of progress or change or anything like that. These new products really do taste great. In fact I found myself eating 4 or 5 bowls of this stuff a day. Its just that they have at least as much sugar as frosted flakes and coco puffs and with all those great nuts the fat content is certainly up from the "0" I was looking for. So yesterday I was doing the shopping for the week and I am at the local mega store* and not my local community store (*still not a nationally known chain as I am a big supporter of buy local) and I ran across that familiar purple box of love. Post Raisin Bran! Saved from ever having to think in the cereal aisle again! I brought it home and placed it on the shelf, silently admiring the heft of the box...25 0z. Family size. With Sun Maid™ Raisins and two scoops in every bowl. I was not disappointed either this morning when I carefully slit open the packaging and poured into my favorite bowl a hefty pile of those familiar cardboard flakes and rock-hard grape nuggets. The first bite was truly revealing... ahhh yess...like freshly cut hay only less aromatic!
All of this leads me to my question of the day.
"How do they keep the raisins evenly distributed through the flakes?" This is no less than a true miracle of modern times. Why don't the raisins just end up on the bottom of the box? Do they ship them up-side down? I don't know, but you can rest assured that this stuff is the real thing! Just like I remembered it.
If all this has piqued your interest in the truly fascinating world of Breakfast Cereals please pick up a copy of Scott Bruce and Bill Crawford's terrific book...Cerealizing America: The Unsweetened Story of American Breakfast Cereal. It is absolutely awesome and you can check out this cool site as well. http://www.lavasurfer.com/bchof/halloffame.html
Peace-Out Good People.
p-didn

Its a beautiful day in the neighborhood...

One of the very great things I get to do each morning is get up with my son Evan and get him ready for school. It sounds kind of mundane and you could even make it sound like a chore but it really isn't at all. Its quiet, and low-key and we have a good time. Evan is such a fun little
boy. We talk about important things like which presidents got shot, our favorite episode of Sponge-Bob, and how we hate homework. He's better company than most and I feel lucky that I get to spend this great time with my youngest son.
cheers
p-didn

Nosey!

this just cause I'm figuring out how all this works.
Un Pero Loco!
Bones

Saginaw Shakedown

OK... My wife sets her alarm at least half an hour earlier than it needs to be
and gets up and turns on the radio (NPR) and I often have these bizarre semi-dreams
related to the stories I hear in my half-awake state.(recently I awoke to the sound my friend Bill Crawford talking about the valuable curative properties of goat glands...but thats another story). This morning, even though I went to bed quite late, I sat bolt upright to hear this small news clip about the Mayor of Saginaw. Ordinarily I would have ignored another Mayor political scandal,But I have a little inside track on this baby!
The Honorable Wilmer Jones Ham McZee
(I couldn't make that up if I tried) is the first woman mayor of Saginaw and she
officiated over my friends' wedding a couple of years ago. Here's the currant story.
On march 9 of 2007 the 20 year old Mercedes and personal ride of the Honorable
Mayor McZee (Evidently the McZee is a new handle as until recently she was simply
known as Wilmer Jones Ham ) caught fire in her driveway. Police ruled it as arson
and soon after a local handyman spoke up claiming that he accidentally set fire to the vehicle
while smoking in the back seat too close to an open container of gas. Mayor Ham... was content
that he admitted to the accident and is unwilling to press charges. She has filed an insurance claim against this accident and thats where the trouble lay. You see, it is against the law to set fire to your beat up 20 year old Mercedes and collect insurance money for it, even if you are the mayor, and have the word of your local handyman to fall back on.
Ordinarily I give people many chances to prove my first impression wrong. After all, we're only
human and we all make mistakes. My first impression of Mayor Wilmer Jones Ham however was that she was a head-strong politician who would do whatever she thought she could get away with in any given situation. Case in point... My friends' wedding. They got married in downtown Saginaw in a theater and had spent a lot of time making sure that things would go as planned and that everyone would have a lot of fun. One of the big points they tried to stress to their officiant, Mayor Wilmer Jones Ham, was that they did not want any religious affiliation
attached to their service. Came time for the dress rehearsal and everything is peachy and no problems with anything that is said ceremony-wise that anyone has any problem with. Next day and ceremony time comes a different story entirely. Mayor Ham turned into the Reverend Wilmer Jones Ham and when she was done you would have thought the bride and groom had been baptized. Those of us who were standing up with the couple thought... this is a joke, they set this up and they will be laughing about this for years to come. I mean, we wouldn't have been more surprised if a fully robed choir appeared and turned the whole event into a revival. (actually, that would have been cool! I loves me my gospel choirs!) It turns out that Mayor McZee had been paid in advance and had decided that being a good Christian she could not marry this couple without invoking the blessings of the good lord above. This really upset the Bride but, what are you gonna do? Stop the wedding in the middle of it?People have traveled from all over, and you certainly aren't gonna find someone else to step up to the plate in the middle of the ceremony! And besides... she was paid in advance!
So as far as trusting the Honorable Mayor-Pro Tem Wilmer Jones Ham McZee, One should look squarely at the evidence. And I'm betting the evidence says ARSON for a reason.
Trial starts today. I'll look forward to following this one!
p-didn

Gin is just really great stuff....

Its true its true. I think out of all the forms that alcohol comes in, Gin is the happiest. When I feel that warm fuzzy blanket encompass me I am always astonished at how nice the world seems. No hard edges, no stress, just an ear-ringing, head buzzin, stupid-ass smiley face grin and cheers to the world.

God Bless Gin!

Facing the music...

Last Night My Son Colin Took Part
in that great right of passage...the buying of
his very first band instrument. Somehow he
convinced all of us that he needed I mean really
neeeeeded to play trombone. I'm not really sure what this means
yet, but I did hear him buzzin along when he came home from school.
have to find some Chicago to download for him.
I'm excited for him. I'm looking forward to making
music with him.

Today is the First day of the rest of my life

Well
Some might put a negative spin on that but I'll
be the optometrist that sees the glass half full
of Scotch.
Its 0730, the kids are fed and one is off to school
the wife has gone to work and the house is quiet and
peaceful...Something must be terribly wrong.
A warm day today for the middle of October.
The cold is no doubt lurking around the next corner
waiting for its cue to make its grand entrance.
And then the rain starts falling. And the school calls
and my son has been kicked in the head can he please come home.
And somehow I have managed to accomplish almost nothing today.
wishing I could somehow go back to bed and try again.
need my soundtrack to inspire.
for I'm stuck here in the mire
and I'm lacking all desire
I simply have no inner fire

grey like the dey.


p-didn