Christmas Once Again

Happy Holidays to anyone who might be out there and happen across this Blog. I have not quite made it through the first 24 hours of Christmas with my family. So far so good as I have been lucky enough to be out of range of any sharp instruments or firearms. I'm not so sure about making it for the duration though as I've signed myself up for 2 weeks of this insanity. In the great big world a process called natural selection helps keep the gene pool relatively trim and fit but Mankind has risen to a level of intelligence allowing for the longevity of many who might otherwise be "reaped" to allow for new growth. Here I find myself surrounded by family at a time of year when we should be rejoicing in each others company harboring barely concealed contempt and ill-will towards those who I should love the most. A few stiff drinks certainly takes the edge off, however this is often frowned upon over the orange juice and Raisin Bran. And we haven't reached
critical mass yet so the best is yet to come.
Tomorrow morning, waking up to the sound of my mother yelling at the dog who is yapping at one or both of my sons who will be giggling out of control, we shall embark upon an excursion to visit my Wife's sister and all her family up in Temple Texas. I want you to know that this will be the most fun I will have my entire visit here in Texas Christmas 2007.

The scorecard so far reads something like this.
I Lose per everything that has happened so far.

I'll try and keep it light and funny as I'm quite certain I would be laughing at this were it not happening to me.
1. don't use anything in the kitchen because its too much trouble and makes too much of a mess and just don't do it.
2. The neighbors planted their trees 30 years ago with the singular purpose in mind that they would grow into giant behemoth leaf dropping trees and create a dirty mess that my mother has to take care of every day...every day....everyday. They evidently also trained them to drop their leaves only in my mothers yard.
3. That pool was the biggest mistake I ever made. No one ever uses it and here I am 83 years old having to clean the leaves out of it every day.

Now alternately repeat items 2 and 3 every 30 seconds followed by occasional outbursts of shouting at the dog who is busy scraping her itchy little chihuahua butt on the carpet and an adamant declarative disapproval of everything...everything and you have the queen bee herself.
Quote of the day: "You can't cook on the stove because it was never ment to actually be used."
She may not be too far off in this statement as she has a flat glass-top stove and it is possibly the worst thing I have ever tried to use ever for any purpose.
My head is screaming banging at me and I must lay down fro the night. But I shall try and keep up with anything fun that might happen over the next few days.
Adios and felice navidad!
p-didn